Tag Archives: health

Sugar Addiction

13 Aug

So six weeks ago I gave up sugar. It came off the back of a usual binge where I’d bought a £1 giant bar of chocolate, sweet and salty popcorn and a loaf of soreen.  I ate the popcorn and chocolate right away and decided to save the soreen for after dinner as a little treat (lolz).

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By the time I’d eaten dinner I knew I had to stop. As I said in my previous post I’m getting married and when I went wedding dress shopping I found my dress but there was a possibility I’d have to buy it in a plus size. That would be an extra £400. Why, knowing all this, was I still eating in such a shocking way?

Sometimes you just reach that point where enough is enough.

I didn’t think about it or plan it. I just went straight cold turkey. No provisions or replacements I just had to quit my crack habit right there and then.

So although in my head and heart I was ready, I hadn’t been prepared for the effects of 30.5 years of sugar leaving my body. I hadn’t expected the cravings, the headaches or mood swings. 

After a day or two someone brought Krispy Kreme donuts into the office. There were actual tears in my eyes, but I held fast. I wanted one so badly, I felt sick.

I didn’t have one and im pretty proud of my will power. As much as it felt like it actually hurt me to say no, I think even after just a couple of days I knew I could do this. Donut-gate aside, I felt pretty good those first few days.

I stocked up on some goods which I’ll list at the end, and created a sugar free living pinterest board. There was no reason I couldn’t have goodies. They just needed to be refined sugar free. I was allowing myself honey and agave nectar at first, but I’ve mostly phased that out. Unless something is super bland then I’m not adding it.

At the one week mark, things went downhill. I had two to three days of intense headaches. I’m not a headache person so I knew this was a result of cutting out the nasty sugar. I was so grumpy, like PMS but worse. I couldn’t concentrate and I was mean. It was rough but then came the calm.

As the sugar left my system the cravings stopped. This is no longer a willpower jobby. I actually don’t want chocolate and crap. No biscuits,  no crisps, no juice.  Nothing.

I tell you what, it’s a revelation. I grew up putting tablespoons of sugar on my cereal or in my hot chocolate. Cream on everything. Cake and cheesecake and whole trifles.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I now dislike this stuff. I just don’t NEED it any more and I don’t really want it as much.

My snacks have been nuts and fruit. Hummus and olives. Nak’d bars save me if I’m caught out. I’ve been making peanut protein balls (recipes to follow), sugar free cocoa and coconut brownies, savoury homemade popcorn, gorgeous chia seed puddings. So I’m getting sweetness in just without the crack habit. 

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My homemade sugar free brownie

I’ve also given up booze. I miss Gin.  Need to check if it’s sugar free. (Checked and Gin with soda water and lemon is in)

Things I miss:
Ice cream. It’s summer and I want cold, creamy and refreshing. But I’ve been give  some faux ice cream recipes which I’ll try and let you know about.

Cake: cos everyone loves cake, but again I’ve got some recipes to try.

Slips ups:
Any slip ups have been intentional. A friend had a birthday dinner at an all you can eat buffet and I just thought “well I’m not gonna be able to avoid it here so I’m going all in”. Man it was good. Until the end, when I was so high off sugar that I thought I was going to die. Literally buzzing. A headache like I’d been drinking all night. I was hyper. And I felt so sick I thought I was going to vomit. Was fine the next up day but it was a reminder how bad all this stuff is.

We also had a family lunch and my dad bought a bottle of champagne as a  celebration. I got very tipsy very quickly on just a glass.

I have to be realistic.  There are going to be times where it’s going to be impossible to not have sugars but I’m pretty confident that these will be far and few between and I can control my portions and the amount I’m consuming. And on a hot day I might just want a cocktail or an ice lolly. I’m only human.

Lots of people have been asking me about going sugar free. I’m no expert, I know pretty much nothing but can offer whats worked for me, sharing recipes and support. To that end, I recently started a Whats App group where a group of us are working together to crack our sugar addictions and get a bit fitter. With a challenge to be sugar free by the end of August.

I think I’ll run the challenge monthly.

Look out for tidbits from the group. I’ll be posting my snack recipes as well because some of this stuff is so damn tasty.

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The Long Road

11 Aug

*taps on screen*

Is anyone out there? I know it’s been a while. I’ve been busy, I hope you can forgive me.

I had doubts about resurrecting From Fat to Phat. What would you all think of me. I got so far into my journey,  you were all routing for me. I was routing for me and then I just stopped. Stopped caring, stopped wanting. Just stopped.

What happens when you stop? All habits creep back in. Lack of exercise. Bad eating. The clothes get tighter. The face gets fuller. The shame grows.  You stay in denial.  So much denial. I ran a marathon, boxed, lost over 3 stone. How could I let all that slip away.

But there comes a point where you have to try again.  So for the past 8 months I’ve been trying to try again.

I started back in January and it began with a little bet between my boss and I. At that point I was even heavier than I was when all this began. It pains me to put those numbers out there, so I won’t. 
It started quite well actually, I managed to lose just under a stone. But around Easter I hurt my foot cheering at the London Marathon, could barely walk for weeks and probably due to my lack of eating right and exercise, I kept on getting sick. Back on came 8lbs.

Started exercising again in June but my eating was out of control.  I’d come home in the evening and pick up a big bar of chocolate on the way. Eat it before dinner and then have dinner followed by a sweet or dessert.

I’m getting marred next year and my tipping point was being told that I might have to pay more to order a plus sized dress. I finally had enough and decided I would have to go a bit cold turkey. I cut out all refined sugars and most processed food. Got back on the exercise properly. Running,  swimming and crossfit.

That was about 5 weeks ago and I’ve finally made a dent.

In January I was given a Pandora charm bracelet for my birthday and for every 10lbs I lost I decided I would by myself a charm. I got the first charm in February. I bought my second charm today 20lbs off! It took me long enough!

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I picked the letter L. It means more than Leeanne. It meaning loving and living life to the fullest.  Looking forward and not back and learning to be the best me.
So here we go again, hopefully you’ll join me as I get started again. 🙂

The forgotten blog

26 Nov

Well, not quite, more like the “slipping into old habits and feeling guilty about it so not posting” blog.

Went to the gym today. My fitness levels are disgustingly low.

I haven’t been running, I stopped boxing about 3 weeks ago and I haven’t found a new challenge to keep me motivated.

I want to continue boxing but need a new place to train.

I’ve been eating and  drinking… A lot.

I’ve put on weight. Not all of it. About a stone. A stone too much.

I just got bored and scared. When I was at my lightest I was very scared that I wasn’t me any more. So I started back on the route of self sabotage. Crying in front of the mirror cos I had no boobs wasn’t fun.

But the road to success is never straight, I control my actions. If I want to be fit, healthy and strong I can’t allow me fears to take over.

I’ve achieved a hell of a lot this year and I want to end on a high not a low or middle.

Today I reconfirm that I will reach my goals, I will continue to be the fittest and healthiest I have been and my road to happiness will become a bit more travelled.

Now looking for people to carry on inspiring me and I will carry in inspiring myself. I ran a fricking marathon this year.

If there is anyone who wants to recommit to their fitness and happiness goals, do it in my comments or email me, tweet me, Facebook me and let’s do it together.

Xxx

Zero Appetite

4 Aug

“The thing is YOU have to want it. YOU have to be hungry for the amazing benefits leading a healthy and active lifestyle has to offer!”

I’ve been getting some great motivational support from the write of the blog “This Woman’s Word“, encouragement and advice when I’ve spoken to her about my lack of game recently.

Last night she sent me a link to one of her posts containing the above quote.

The whole post was outstanding but that line hit me in the face like a brick. I’ve lost my appetite and desire to become a better me, it all feels like a chore, like I’m forcing myself and like I’m living a lie.

I don’t want to be like I was before, but my hunger to be the best I can has dissipated. Why? Laziness, complacency? I don’t really know.

I do know that I do not want to be where I was 18months ago and that if I’m not careful I’ll be back there by the end of the year.

So some small, SMART goals have been set. I’ll see how it goes, I’m hoping once I start the appetite will come back and once I see progress again, I’ll be starving for more.

You can read the full blog post here.

Thanks Danielle.

Sabotage!

29 Jul

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What is Self-Sabotage?

Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.

The most common self-sabotaging behaviours are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting.

These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly.

That is all.

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Foodage 23 May 2013

23 May

Here’s the food! Yum (maybe)

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Empty porridge bowl. Sorry. Scot oats, banana and blueberries made with water

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Lunch: tuna and baked sweet potato with salad and low fat dressing

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Yogurt for sweet treat

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Morning Snacks. Only had some of the peas

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Afternoon snack before home time

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Dinner: grilled haddock and veg. Was gonna do couscous but I’m lazy

Over and out

Accountability

23 May

So, I have a confession to make.

I eat. I eat a lot. Mostly I eat good food. Whole grains, high protein, low carbs etc., etc. but sometimes, more often than I should, especially when snacks are involved, I eat poop.

We all know the saying “Abs are made in the kitchen and not the gym” and so really I cant be surprised that I’m not getting the 100% results that I want when I am not putting in 100%.

And yes putting in 100% all of the time is hard but damn it if I want to be fitter and healthier and no longer overweight then I need to work hard at it.

So I was thinking back to the reasons I started this blog. I knew that if I put it out there and made it public then I would be accountable for what I was doing. People would look at my blog and be like, “hey, she is working hard” or “boo, she isn’t putting in the effort”. I rave a lot about the exercise and sport I undertake but not the food I eat.

Therefore, in the interest of transparency I am going to trial something for a couple of weeks.
Once a day in the evening I will post up pictures of the food I have eaten through out the day. And maybe a little description of what it is (in case you can’t tell).

I do a lot of my eating in secret!

I AM A SECRET BINGE EATER. I binge. I can’t eat just one biscuit. I have to have 5 or 6 or more. I went and brought an M and S wrap the other day, one of their summer ploughman’s sausage rolls, then went to costa and got a Belgium chocolate tiffin, I ate all of those before I got on the train back to work.. When I got to Kings Cross I went to Leon and bought a halloumi burger and some popcorn. That was my lunch on Tuesday! Everyone saw me eat the halloumi burger, no one knew about the stuff before.

I have food issues. Maybe I should see someone about it. What is really going on here? Why do I sabotage myself like this? Who knows? Anyway the buck stops with me, so yeah starting this evening a daily blog post of my foodage.

Lemme know what you think 🙂

Mama said knock you out!

21 May

So in my perpetual quest to get fit or die trying, I have taken up a new sport.

Sitting on the train a few weeks ago, reading me free Metro newspaper and I came across an ad looking for competitors for a new round of White Collar Boxing. Basically, a bunch of office workers beating each other up! Talk about fight club.

They train you up for 12 weeks and at the end you get in the ring to have a nice little punch up. Exciting or what.

Now the running has calmed down for a few months, I have a bit of time to add in some extra body work. This seemed perfect. My dad used to box in the army and reading this advert took my back to childhood when he used to try and teach us the moves – and a couple of weeks ago he did the same thing when I told him I was starting training.

Now in my second week of training. I’ve got my gloves and my boots and I’m suffering from the worst DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness) ever.

The classes are 1 hour up to 4 times a week and minimum 2 times a week at Trad TKO boxing gym in East London They are pretty intense. Lot’s of shadow boxing, using the bags and core work. Skipping!! Something else that takes me back to my childhood. That shizz is hard! I’m really sweating with each session but I feel like I might be getting the hang of the basics. A lot of work to be done though.

So far I’m loving it. I’m the biggest (height and weight wise) girl in the group, so I am apprehensive about how they will match me up, but we’ll soon see I’m sure. Hopefully I’ll be able to drop some more weight with this as well. I even met and had my photo taken with a prize fighter (Wadi Camacho).

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I’m looking forward to the 12th July when I will step in to the ring and show everyone what I have learnt.

Feeling totally disillusioned with my weight loss at the moment. It’s just not happening.

Need to get back on track and eat well but the past few weeks it’s been so hard. I’m tired of watching what I eat. Feeling guilty for having something indulgent then eating more and then feeling more guilt.

I wonder if it’s even possible to drop this last two stone and do I really want to? Cos surely if I did, I would have.. Wouldn’t I?

My progress over the past 6 months and longer even has been super slow. My body has changed a lot but my weight is just staying the same. I’ve had a couple of suggestions that this is just where my body wants to be and with out starving myself part of me does wonder what will it take to get in to the medically healthy weight range.

Having not taken the Weightwatchers plan seriously for the past couple of months, I have considered taking a break from it. Re-establishing my mojo, seeing that I can do on my own and then taking it from there. But I know I would miss the support of my leader and fellow weightwatchers. Made a great bunch of friends in that lot. There is also pressure on me though, lots of people in the group have seen my success and I was to admit I feel a bit disillusioned and then left I can imagine the response. Not my burden to bear perhaps but I feel it is.

Until the scales start moving down again I will just have to focus on those non-scale victories. Hope I continue to tone up and get healthier.

Work on increasing strength, agility and stamina. I will become the fittest I have been, even if I’m not the slimmest. This isn’t a quick fix trip down the road, it’s a mammoth road trip and the journey is going to take me a long, long way from home and a long time to get there. I need to make sure the vehicle is up to the job.

Ain’t nothing but a (grey)hound dog!

15 May

So, just before the marathon I was running my 5k runs in 27 mins. Since then I haven’t quite gotten the speed back in my legs.
It is definitely time for me to start pushing myself so within Run Dem Crew I have moved up from Fast Hares to Greyhounds.

Hare pace is about 10/10.5min miles – which it felt like I was doing easily. I was leading the groups and we seemed to be getting faster.
Greyhound feels so much faster than that at 8-9min miles.
The definition of a greyhound on the RDC website is:

Greyhounds: 8-9 min/miles

You own a lot of Lycra but like to take your runs at a slightly more leisurely pace than our Cheetah friends. You take in the sights as you run with a nice sprint finish at the end just to make everyone know that you could out run a Cheetah if the need be. Your family think you are a bit odd but appreciate the effort needed to run a 4hr marathon or a sub 50 minute 10k. You’ll never forget the early days in the park when your heart was about to jump out of your chest, but now you can’t imagine life without running a solid 6 miles on a Tuesday night.

Right now I still feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest.

My first week in Greyhounds I wanted to cry. It was my first proper run after the Marathon. We did bridges and about 5.5 miles. The crew helped me out. I can do the distance and I can pretty much do the speed but it is such a challenge.

I haven’t felt like this in such a long time. It leaves me feeling unsure, inadequate and lacking confidence. I’m used to be upfront and I hate feeling like I might be slowing the pack down.

My second run, last night was still very tough but felt just a little easier than that first week. We ran to the Emirates which was mostly uphill and I think that was what I found the hardest. I was at the back of the pack again but I did it. I never know if people are just being polite but everyone assured me I was running really strong.

Coming back downhill was much easier but I gave myself food for thought on the mind over matter stuff.

Up until the last mile I knew the route and then we diverted away from it on to a path unknown by me. Because of this I found that last mile really hard even though I was feeling quite good until that point. But as soon as we got to the part of the route I knew again I was off again. Ready for a sprint finish.

What I’m also learning is that at the end of the run I’m not on the floor and I’m recovering pretty darn quick which means I can definitely give more. I just need to gain the confidence and belief and if I want to start running my marathons in under 5 hours then I need to be getting the speed in.

This weekend is the Nike/Elle We Own the Night women’s 10k race in Victoria Park. I am hoping for a PB in this race. I am desperate to run it in under 1hour. Even if it is 59mins59seconds. J Im going to be running with my usual ladies and I’m sure we will push each other to success! 6.2miles of amazingness!

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Let the taper begin!

2 Apr

Let’s catch up!

I know I’m terrible at blogging at the moment. I worry that I’ll bore you all ha ha.

I’m officially in the tapering zone right now. Eating right and fuelling my body and mind for the 21st April.

The past few weeks have been filled with long runs and my last long run was on Easter morning. 20 miles. It took just under four hours. Feeling really happy with that time.

It’s really interesting how my body has reacted to these runs. I am finding the last one – two miles the hardest each time. But never unreachable goals. I think my body just knows that only 20 more mins or so and I’ll be at the end. It can see the finish line and it’s a bit of mind power to push to the end.

I think my hardest long run was my 15miler. I did it with my cousin the week after Paris. He is quite a lot faster than me and it felt like I pushed it quite hard for that run.

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Running 18 miles in the snow a couple of weeks ago was definitely challenging, mainly because I was trying to stay up right but this was the run that I feel helped me find my pace for Race day. 18 miles in 3hours 27mins. That’s what I like.

The last two miles up hill in to Highgate were something special. And not the good special, but ploughed through it and felt great afterwards.

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My final long run this weekend was of a similar pace. 20miles in 3hours 52mins. We took in a shortened version of the marathon route, doing a circuit of Canary Wharf and up in to the Mall. That took us to 17 miles; we finished with the final few miles along the Thames down to Tower Bridge.

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Man, the end of this run brought with it such relief! The taper has begun.

It’s now time to finish prepping and feeding my mind and body for the biggest physical challenge I have ever undertaken.

A lot of people keep telling me how casual I am about running all these miles. It’s not that I am being blasé, I just don’t think I have fully realised how far 26.2miles is, I’ve tried to comprehend how far I would get if I ran for 26miles outside of London, but it just doesn’t make sense. I was never good with distances at school.

I’ve finished with the fundraising part of the marathon a few weeks ago and having hit my target meant that for these last few weeks the focus on my running has been much less intense and with out worry. Thank you to everyone who donated and who continues to donate. You can add to my epic total here.

Weight wise, I have no idea how much I weight right now. My weight over the past month had gone up and down around the 15st mark. I am extra hungry and probably not making the best food choices after my long runs so therefore I am not seeing results on the scales and I don’t want to feel disheartened about this. So I agreed at the suggestion of the amazing Saz, my weightwatchers leader, that she would weigh me but not tell me the results. This has taken such pressure off let me tell you, but I do need to ensure I am eating correctly in order to be able to fuel my body properly.

And regardless of the scales, I am now pretty firmly into a size 14 clothes wise with a few size 12 dress choices. So I can’t complain.

I am starting to like what I see in the mirror and as a result I am finding myself taking more and more pics of me in my new purchases and sticking them up on instagram. I started to feel a bit narcissistic but then I remembered how I used to feel. Big and bloated and now I don’t. I’m so happy with my progress and I do want to show it off a bit. People keep telling me I need to look at how far I’ve come and I’m starting to believe that.

A friend of mine this morning asked me to post some “top tips”. I can’t really say I have many, apart from this. If you really want to become fitter and healthier and slimmer then you will do it. No matter how hard it gets.

You will eat better, you will train hard. You’ll set your goals and you’ll make sure you hit them because you’ll be so sick of how you currently feel that you’ll have no option but to change.

Seeing and feeling the changes. Feeling unstoppable is the most gratifying thing.

I’m currently reading A Life Without Limits by Chrissie Wellington, as suggested by one of my blog readers the other month. Sitting on the tube reading this book has reduced me to tears thinking about all the things I can push myself to do. I suggest anyone who has goals, reads this book. You just don’t know until you try.

I’ve recently been wondering how I will feel after the Marathon. Will I want to continue running marathons? I do know I want to really push my body to see what it is really capable of. I also know I want to see how many miles I can run in one day. I’m not talking about racing, but if I was to take a long leisurely run with gels and water etc. how far could I really go?

We’ll see aye!

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