A Real Health Scare

12 Jun

So I’ve had my first scary, health scare.

Two weeks and 1 day ago on a Monday night, I was in the shower and I found a lump on my right boob.

It wasn’t a big one, at first I thought it was a spot under the skin.

Got in to bed and was on the phone to the mister and I realised it wasn’t a spot under the skin but a little lump.

I have great jubblies and I’m always feeling them up (who wouldn’t) so I knew this lump wasn’t there before. OK. No panic I said to myself. Just go to the docs. That’s what they tell you to do if you find anything new or unusual.

Woke up Tuesday morning, lump was still there so I phoned the doctor, which is conveniently next door to my house. Managed to get an appointment for 9am.

So, I meet with the doctor, explain that I’m sure it’s nothing but since I’ve not had any lumps before, and everything you read or see always says if you find one then you should get it checked, I thought I’d do that.

He examines me, finds the lump, says its about 3mm in diameter. He says just as a precaution he will send me for a full breast screening.

Just as a precaution? But it’s just a little nothing lump right? Why, if it’s just a harmless little lump, do I have to have a full screening. I didn’t say that, but I thought it.

I’ll be contacted by the hospital with an appointment with in two weeks. He fills out the form.

Why did he tick the “see urgent” box? “Malignant tumour”? just a precaution he says.

I left the doctors slightly more worried. But I’m a sensible chick. No history of breast cancer in the family. No other symptoms. It’s cool. It’s nothing.

So why did I feel so scared?

Called my mum and boyfriend. Told them what happened. But why did I feel so scared?

It’s better that the doctors are thorough. And my GP although qualified, is not a breast specialist. You can’t take chances with these things, right?

And there is no chance being taken. So why didn’t the GP just send me away and say its nothing.

Slowly over the next two days my logic went out the window and fear crept in.

I didn’t tell anyone how scared I felt at first. I knew they would say what I should have been thinking – It’s all fine.

All I could think about was the small chance that this wasn’t nothing.

By the Friday I was having pain on my breast. I couldn’t figure out of this was psychosomatic or real pain.

I’d also noticed that I could see ever so slightly where the lump was when I looked in the mirror.

Did I have cancer and was it spreading through my breast that quickly?

OMG where was my appointment already? Why was it taking so long?

I’d pretty much started thinking how would I cope if it was something and I needed treatment? Would I have to quit work.

Now I have to stress, I knew that the lump was nothing but because I couldn’t say 100%, I was scared.

I spoke to my friend and broke down. I felt so stupid. Why couldn’t I just relax.

I decided that afternoon to phone NHS Direct.

I spoke to a nurse and explained that I’m sure the pain was in my head. She was so kind. She told me to go back to my doctor and explain that they had reassessed me on the phone and I should be seen at the breast clinic quicker than two weeks.

I managed to get a doctors appointment for 5pm that afternoon.

I saw a different doctor, he was older and more confident. He again found the lump right away, but he explained that he had seen many lumps like this and although I still had to go for my scan, he was pretty certain that it was a benign lump.

He praised me for coming back. It’s the women who find lumps and don’t see the doctor that he worries about.

I left the surgery feeling more relaxed than I had all week.

I could look at this with logical eyes again.

I got home and my appointment letter was waiting for me. Tuesday, 12th June. 9am.

It’s now Tuesday morning and I didn’t sleep well last night. The fears were coming back again. When I did fall asleep I dreamt I was at the hospital being examined.

Really didn’t want to get out of bed today. Just wanted to forget I found the stupid thing.

The first part of this blog, everything above, has been written whilst I wait to go in to the consultant.

I considered posting it before I go in, but I’ll wait.

So I just had the first part of my examination.

The lump which I found, the nurse was sure is nothing. Great relief. She also found another lump on the other side. A thickening of the tissue. This freaked me out for a moment but she again was certain it’s nothing. I’m currently feeling calm and reassured.

I’m now sitting waiting for an ultra sound. She was confident I have nothing to worry about. In turn, I also feel confident.

She had a student with her, a young man. I didn’t mind him examining me also as its so important doctors are trained properly.

She also explained that the first GP I saw absolutely did the right thing sending me for the screening.

The wait continues.

I’m now sitting on the tube on my way to work. I feel like crying with happiness. The ultra scan showed that both of my boobies are completely fine and all lumps are normal.

Never have I ever felt such relief.

I thought I’d feel silly for being so worried but I don’t. You just can’t take any chances with this stuff.

If any of my readers out there notice anything odd with your breasts, please, please, please go to your GP.

I’m going back to my happy reality now, one where I can look at my jubblies in the mirror with joy again and not fear.



2 Responses to “A Real Health Scare”

  1. peonut June 12, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    That’s great news, congrats 🙂

  2. Circusmum June 12, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    I’m so glad it was all ok in the end. I admit not to be anywhere near as vigilant as we maybe should be when it comes for looking out for lumps and staying on top of the game.
    Thank you for sharing what must have been a very terrifying experience for you, if anything you’ve certainly reminded one lady to keep on top of her breast examinations and smears too for that matter.

Leave a Reply to peonut Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: